You make difficult decisions all day long. When your team is struggling with a dilemma you are the one they come to for guidance and incisiveness. You answer to the people upstairs, or maybe you ARE the person upstairs. Either way, between challenges at home and stress at work you have been feeling drained, spread too thin or numb to the constant weight of pressure. But when it comes to reaching out for therapy support- you’ve waffled. The very type of indecisiveness you’ve worked to train out of your staff to keep the ship afloat somehow finds you in your decision to reach out for the help you deserve.

“The Why” 

The Work persona and the Self

 

Often professionals experience either a strong delineation between their “work self” persona and personal life Self, or conversely; experience a work identity that bleeds over into their personal life. Although these experiences are opposite one another, they can both cause their own respective level of distress and if not addressed, can cause anxiety or destruction in relationships. 

If you relate to having work persona and Self being too compartmentalized maybe it looks similar to this:

A partner expresses, “ I don’t understand how he can make million dollar decisions at work, but when it comes to things at home, I can’t get him to make decisions on house projects or where we should vacation this summer. It all falls on me and I’m exhausted-can’t he bring some of that decisiveness home?”

Or maybe work bleeding into home life has looked like: 

“I’m not sure how to shut off my work self when I get home. I think about work on my drive home, see my spouse but I’m not fully present. Before dinner I’m working on emails and returning messages like I never left. My partner is getting more frustrated and distant because they say I never turn off work mode, and don’t get my full attention on anything until the weekend”. 

Finding balance between your personas or roles can be difficult, so if you connect with either example, it may be time to work with a therapist on the origins of this struggle and solutions. Your therapist can support insight building, and teach you methods of building boundaries so that unplugging becomes easier, resulting in feeling more  connected at home, even if you have a high-demand career. Additionally, they can help you find the work-life balance you may be feeling a lack of lately, and restore relationships and a sense of feeling more present.

Action steps

ID the symptoms holding you back.

 What physical or emotional symptoms are you experiencing that didn’t used to be there? Anxiety, numbness, constant overwhelm, fatigue, lack of desire to engage in activities or relationships outside of work, or irritation at home can all be signs that your work-life balance is in need of adjustment.

Do a Cost/ benefit analysis: Is delaying the possible discomfort of therapy worth the distress bogging you down everyday?

The idea of starting therapy can feel scary or anxiety provoking- but is staying at your current level of distress worth it, and furthermore can you afford the toll of  exhaustion while putting it off? Consider if ripping off the proverbial band-aid and taking the leap for therapy could be the key to finding relief and optimizing your performance at work and your personal life.

Picture your therapeutic goals and how you will feel achieving them.

Similar to how you have probably formulated your professional goals or 5 year plan, it can help to envision how you’d like to feel, and what you’d like to achieve in therapy. Having your goals in mind may be the boost in motivation you need to reach out. Additionally, when you do meet with your therapist for the first time, you’ll be able to share with them what you’d like to gain from the experience and collaborate with your therapist on those goals.

Make the call

This is often the toughest step, but you are worth it. While researching therapists you can look for their specialties, if you’re wanting in-person or Telehealth, and asking if they offer a consultation before a first session can help you feel more at ease in making your decision on the best fit. 

When it comes down to it, work-life balance is often difficult to achieve. However, your mental health related to work and your personal life are worth the effort to find support, and you may be surprised at what it can do to improve your personal life, relationships and optimize your performance.